Two lessons

Last week was a tough week for me. There are two lessons I learned from that day. The first is that I lost someone that I love because of my stupid mistake. I know she loves me so do I. She has given me a few signals again and again to make me confess what my feelings to her. But idiotly I just told her to be passion. I made her to wait for me without telling her why she should do it. She always said that what happens the result will be no dissapoinment, no regret, and no cry.

No dissapoinment: Sorry but I feel so dissapointed. It's not her fault. I was disappointed because of my stupidity. No regrets: Sorry but I also feel so regret. Once again it was not her fault. No Cry: Thanks to God, even though I feel disappointed and so sorry, I did not cry.

All my efforts have gone. Now, it's just a song from the passengers - let her go is accompany me day after day. Luckily I have my God where I should ask everything. The lyrics of the song below can describe what I feel right now.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missin' home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And the other things I learned last week is that money is not everything. I had the opportunity to have more money than what I have now. I do not think I could enjoy spending that money ( because the workplace is outside the city). Actually it is difficult to make a choice whether to continue my life in my company now, or take another chance.

Although I could make more money, but I still could do hahahihi as I do now ( although our team now can not reach the targets given by management ) in a new place. I was in my comfort zone. I was scared to get out of my comfort zone right now. So many people in this company has the option to leave their comfort zone. But after I did istikharah Prayer to ask god what is better for me, I was convinced that I could not leave this company now. Actually why I propose for this job so I can stay in the Medan forever. Because she said that she did not want to leave the city. But after he rejected me, the next day I said to the Steering Comittee that I quit for sure. 

Wishing all the lessons that can make me a better person in the future though so painful.